Messy and Awkward
by Idiosyncracy
Summary: Who knew such a happy couple could fight like kids? 'it's like...' RikuxCloud thanks to pageofcups for the idea! 'food fight' the boy yelled happily... merry christmas everyone!


**A/n: this was a creative idea that I retrieved inspiration on from Page of Cups…Thanks pagey! After I thought of the two main words, a plot of a story just came to my mind and I went with it! Hopefully cloud isn't too OOC, but I tried to put his point of view into retrospect. I'm trying something different with my writing style, since I idolize page of cups so much, I wanted to put the story in more of a vocal not descriptive range. So I now introduce to you, Messy and Awkward…**

**I warn you, there is vulgar, shonen ai, and sexual references induced…but when has that ever stopped me?!**

**Disclaimer: I like to use them…and I don't bother sharing, but no money whatsoever is being made off of this strictly fandom fan fiction…hence the name FAN **_**fiction**_

"I'm home." A cold gust of wind made its way into the warm home. Sloppily taking of his boots and throwing his coat in the coat rack, a spiky haired blonde shivered at the change in temperature and made his way further into the welcoming abode. Glancing around the furnished extent with chestnut browns, earth greens and iron artwork on the walls, blue eyes lay upon nothing out of the norm and let them close, wandering into the delicious scent of home baking wafting into the air from the kitchen.

"Well you quickly found me." A silver headed teen's aquamarine eyes winked playfully as he continued to lick batter off of a mixing spoon. Cloud drank in the sight of the barely legal teen in a baby blue baking apron that said _kiss the cook _with navy blue italic letters across the breast and navy blue sweat pants, his soft silver hair tied into a semi low ponytail, Riku looked like a common housewife.

With barely a shirt…that would turn any husband on.

"I don't even get a welcome home kiss or anything, _welcoming…_" Cloud role-played grief and rested his elbows on the island counter, his eyes peeking out of his hands, still glued to the sight before him.

"Then how about this?" Riku turned to face cloud with a blank expression. Suddenly, his eyes sparkled with life. "Welcome home _honey_! The kids are _sooo_ excited to see you and little Bobby just made his first model airplane! I just made dinner, and afterwards, would you like me to give you a message then make steamy sensual hot love to you?!" Riku clapped his hands and jumped around as he continued to amaze Cloud with his unique acting tactics.

This time, he was an obsessive housewife.

"Dear _God_. Never, _never_ do that again, for the love of me." Cloud rolled his eyes as he laughed.

"Too bad, because I don't love you." Riku flicked a small drop of cake batter onto the blonde's cheek and quickly wiped it up with his tongue. Cloud smirked devilishly, already assuming as to where this scene was going.

"No you're wrong; this is _not_ leading into the bedroom. I've work to do before everyone gets here for New Year's Eve." Riku grinned boyishly as his eyes twinkled. Cloud guessed two people can only think so much alike when they're in love.

"But _why?_ We can do so many more things that are way more funner…" Cloud furrowed his blonde eyebrows into a pout formation.

"I'm guessing you never took a grammar class…" The teen continued to ignore the other man's pleads. "And since we're on the topic of company," Cloud groaned, "have you and Sephiroth worked anything out?" He continued to stir the batter as his back faced Cloud, somewhat afraid of his reactions.

Cloud sighed, his mood quickly soured, "Riku, I know you're trying to think of the benefit of all of us, but how many _damn_ times do I have to run this by you? No matter how hard I try, even if I _wanted_ to, Sephiroth will _never _treat me as a human being, much less his soon to be brother-in- law!" Cloud rested his chin on his hands as his expression hardened.

"Don't raise your voice at me." Riku closed his eyes and said coolly as his own atmosphere began to rot. "And as much as I like the tone of marriage… _how _the _hell_ am I going to live happily with you if I have to be separated from someone else I love? I refuse to go through the 'me or him' thing…I'm not like that…"

"And here comes your emotional break down."

"Why can't you realize that I'm not just running my mouth to you and _listen?_"

"And _how_ many times do you plan to fight about this _one _topic that's dragging our relationship behind?"

"Relationship? With the antisocial withdrawn and _depressed_ person you are, I barely call what we have a relationship."

"I've come so close to death too many times to count with that, that _thing,_ and now you want us both to be buddy-buddy with each other?!" Cloud stood up straight, gripping the counter to control himself, anger boiled up inside of him.

"Don't you dare call my _brother_ a _thing_. And it's always about you, you, and you."

"Why can't you stop acting like a damn _female_ and take things into retrospect?"

"Dammit Cloud, maybe if you weren't so _damn_ persistent to keep a pointless fucking _grudge_ with him, things wouldn't turn out his way!" Riku yelled, throwing the spoon down as his eyes watered over.

"Of course it's _me_ making the problem worse."

"I'm just trying to help everyone out here."

"And you're the one who keeps voicing this problem that's absolutely nothing important."

"So my love is unimportant."

"That's not what I said."

"Then say what you're damn sure meaning Cloud."

"You're telling me to listen, but I think you're being a hypocrite in the situation."

You think I'm only trying to screw life up?"

"Just because you're eighteen _now_ doesn't mean you can spit fire like an adult."

Riku shrugged.

"Alright _dad._"

"You _really_ know how to make a person think homicidally."

"Everyone thinks you're out of line on this one. Me included."

"Who the hell cares what everyone else says or thinks?"

"You don't care what I say or think, just as long as I'm under you at night in bed."

"Don't twist my words Riku."

"Maybe their _experienced_ opinions could _help._"

"Then how about you go marry everyone else?"

"That's what I'm saying about you Cloud. All you do when something doesn't go you're way, you try to push the subject even further either to leave you alone or damn sure piss me off. That's why things turn out the way they are now."

"Turn out this way? So you're saying you don't like the point we're at now in our relationship?"

"That's not what I'm saying _or_ meaning."

"I'm guessing you're saying these _things_ that _are_ this way aren't going the way you'd _like_?"

"Don't talk to me like I'm a kid."

"You're barely legal."

"You're the one, who wanted to _fuck a fifteen_ year old kid, so don't blame my age."

"So _now_ I'm a pedophile." Cloud rolled his eyes.

"If you haven't noticed, most of the things you do to me are illegal in some worlds."

"Then how about you go live, marry, and _fuck_ with that happy bastard and _maybe, things_ would be legal and _things_ will turn out he way you _want_!" Cloud continued to yell back, approaching the teen with defiance and anger, but Riku didn't flinch.

"You're sick."

"You're a kid."

"You ungrateful _bastard! _You say that without even thinking about all I've _done _for you! I've cooked, cleaned, done laundry, practically played the _bitch_ you dubbed me ever since we've been together!" Riku pushed and pressed the blonde's shoulders as he listed off his work, the words spewing out of his mouth like acid.

"I say you just happened to fit into that role. I didn't dub you anyone."

"With you and you're absolutely _worthless_ 'talents', I kind of had no choice!"

"Then why do you keep bitching about cleaning up after my oh so sorry ass if you chose to? I'm guessing because of all the things I thank you for, you want me to worship the air you breathe and the ground you walk on."

"I'm probably the _best_ man or _woman_, however the hell you decide to call me, you will _ever _come across in your damn life!"

"Isn't that a load of bull."

"Cloud's having a bad day; I consol him. Cloud's getting hot; I get under him. Cloud's feeling antsy; I spar wit him. Cloud's feeling hungry; here's some food!" Riku finally pushed Cloud so hard; he stumbled into the counter behind him, all the while glaring deathly daggers at the teen's moment of dominance.

"I never ask for you to do any of those things for me."

"Then where _the_ hell would we be? Sure as hell not in a relationship!"

"I'm right here, I can fucking _hear _you." The blonde whispered harshly, staring into the other's fuming aqua eyes.

"You know what?! I don't give a _damn _about _Cloud _anymore since he's _so_ better off without me even _touching _his life." Riku threw his hands up in exasperation, turning to leave with tears finally streaming down his eyes. Cloud thrust his hand out, an instinct he was unaware of, and grabbed Riku's forearm to prevent him from continuing any further.

"Could you listen?"

"What more do you want from me?!" Riku finally screamed and looked up demandingly into the other's face. He was trembling.

Cloud hesitated.

For the first official time in his life, he couldn't speak. From all the angry harsh words that meaninglessly slipped off of his tongue in previous seconds, he couldn't spit any more acidic words at Riku. All he could find himself to do was staring. Stare blindingly into the hurt face of the one he was entitled to protect, not damage. As upon neither seeing nor hearing an answer from the older man, Riku squirmed to regain his arm's freedom and turned to leave the room.

"Dammit Riku!" Cloud reached out.

Riku stopped in the midst of his steps. He clenched his hands to where his knuckles turned white and began to tremble, such a small shaking, not many would notice. But then he shook, not with tears or sadness, but pure rage that overtook his body.

"That's all you can say to me?" Before Cloud even noticed what had happened,

A small glob of vanilla cake mix was slapped onto is black shirt.

Mentally, he found himself, smirking, almost laughing hysterically at the childish antics both of them had resolved to. Cloud uncontrollably grabbed the bowl of mixed eggs and threw the bowl with all its contents into the now ruined blue apron.

After the first return attack, it all went downhill from there.

The teen didn't even draw back as the raw eggs painfully hit his stomach with a splat, but snatched the nearest fudge mix and splattered the dust like mix at the opponent; as a result it ended up polluting the air, making the scenery thick with a chocolaty brown hue. Coughing to regain oxygen into his lungs, Riku's eyes squinted as they watered with the infiltration of fudge mix.

Maybe that attack wasn't of the smartest move…

He rubbed his eyes mercilessly as he fanned the air rapidly, any observer would've thought something was mentally demented with the teen, but as the air returned to normal, the kitchen was missing something. A cloud. A something _named_ Cloud. His silver hair glistened under the kitchen lights as Riku turned around franticly in search of the enemy. A small snicker was heard from the far corner counter, and Riku didn't hesitate to duck as a box of sprinkles littered the area he just inhabited. Breathing a sigh of relieve, his back lay on the island cabinet as he looked around the corner for any sign of attack. Cloud, clearly enjoying every bit of the food fight they had engaged in like a little school boy, sadistically hauled every baking item and utensil from the pantry shelves he had made his way over to and piled them unfairly by his side.

Normally, by this time in a movie, there _would_ be theme music.

But as the event went in the kitchen war, it was completely silent, save for the occasional alarm beeping from the refrigerator door, signaling the door was open and the contents were at risk to be spoiled…as if that even mattered at the moment. Cloud finally stopped the pointless thoughts approaching his mind and focused on the task at hand. When the quiet and faintly tanned sandy air was almost unbearable, he turned some of his body around the corner of the counter to take in the situation and surroundings.

Only to be perfectly met with cold whipped cream in the face.

The blonde heard the other scramble to get away as he quickly swiped off the frosty sticky substance of his face and lurched forward in a small attack leap. Riku growled defenselessly as both his ankles were captured in the strong hands of his rival. Cloud then dragged him closer to his body and turned his captive to where they were face to face as he straddled his hips and pinned his wrists to the marble tile. The silver headed teen had and maintained a fierce and defiant expression on his face, despite the large amounts of fun and thrill he was having mentally. His 'anger' still shown on his slightly sun kissed face as Riku's aquamarine eyes twinkled wickedly with mischief.

"I love _you, _not any other man or woman. Why can't you see that?" Cloud whispered, barely audible; to the youth, loud and clear. Suddenly, Riku burst into uncontainable peals of laughter, as small tears formed at the corner of his eyes. The twenty-four year old released his hold on the adolescent's wrists and rolled off of his waist, leaning against the counter with wide eyes in surprise of the unexpected behavior. The teen's roaring laughter only continued as he clutched his stomach in pain because of the lack of breath. Gasping for air, choking, and coughing, Cloud thumped him on the back dumbly, as a mother would to her baby to burp him. Clutching his throat and finally gain his composure, he happily grinned into the shocked face of Cloud.

"Do you know what this whole situation has been like?" a string of giggles escaped from his lips as he asked a completely out of the blue question.

Cloud nodded 'no' dumbfounded.

"It's like…it's like sex!" Riku then broke into another fit of giggles and snorts at the seemingly pointless joke. Cloud couldn't stop himself from laughing along with the odd teen, and soon, the whole house was filled with roars of laughter.

"Might I ask how the hell this is like sex in _any_ possible way?" the blonde asked.

"Well, when _we _first start, we're always happy and lovey dovey and kissing."

"Yeah…"

"And then when we finally realize we're both hot and bothered we start touching, most likely with me being pushed into a wall, couch, bed etc."

Cloud nodded. Too true.

"Then we both start making noises," Riku grinned devilishly, "whimpering, growling, and whatever animal noise that tends to escape us at the moment. Finally, things get a little frisky. We start struggling for dominance, and as it turns out I'm on bottom. Then all in all, things turn out all messy and awkward, only until you're the first to say I love you…then most times we do it all again." Riku smiled innocently and touched Cloud's soft blushing cheek, forgetting that he could ever be angry with this one.

"You always were blunt putting situations into perspective…" Cloud muttered creating a new shade of red on his cheeks. He looked up as his expression softened.

"I'm so sorry Riku." Cloud pulled the teen close to him to where he was sitting in between his legs comfortably.

"I'm sorry too…I shouldn't have constantly nagged you about Sephiroth."

"I shouldn't have blown up on you because of his name even being mentioned."

"I'm sorry I basically called you a pedophile… even though you technically are." Riku smiled and cuddled his head into the corner of Cloud's neck.

"I shouldn't have been so defensive… I don't want to hurt you."

"Even though you did, I bet I did the same…" Riku sighed as he turned to face the blonde, stroking a hand through his hair then to his cheek and lips.

"Now shut up and stop being a female apologizing. Kiss like you should've by now." Riku commanded.

Cloud gladly obeyed.

**Yayums! I was so excited when I got to typing this up; I actually finished this in one whole day! Aren't you all proud? Anyway, I hope all of you have a Merry Christmas and a happy new year! You won't be seeing the last of me just yet…**

**R&R for the love of me??**


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